My Perfectly Imperfect Mom Life isn’t just the name of this column. It’s an acknowledgment that perfect is never the goal.
As I look around me at what’s happening in the world and see how hard we’re working to get life right every day — especially parents — I feel like this is the perfect moment to send out a reminder that it’s OK if we don’t.
它甚至不可能100％的时间让一切顺利。
所以停止把那种疯狂的压力放在自己身上，以实现不可成熟的。
The irony is, what’s really important is that we give ourselves permission to screw things up along the way.
Yep, even as parents. Because contrary to the narrative that most humans have been taught about the importance of being “perfect,” it’s actually a myth. And the sooner we debunk that myth and embrace our perfect imperfectness, the sooner we’ll unlock our true potential and really thrive.
The truth is, we’re all afraid of screwing up on some level, myself included. Because no one wants to look or feel incompetent, inept, or foolish. Especially a parent.
但现实是，我们都不会每次都要钉住一切。我们不会有所有的答案。
我们要说并做错了a lot, but that’s OK. Like, it’s真的好的。
所以，尽快让自己兴趣比以后更换，更换你头脑中的唠叨声音表明错误与更强大的声音，更具赋权的声音说错误实际上是改变和成功和伟大的门户。
Because when we believe that and model that — and ultimately teach that — to our kids, that’s what changes the game.
我认为英国作家Neil Gaiman said it best:
“…if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.“
所有这些都在父母身份中持有真实。
And even though I know that both consciously and subconsciously we all strive to be the perfect parents and raise the perfect kids, it’s just not possible.
让他们犯错误
So, instead, here’s a simple suggestion from a mom of two 20-something daughters who’s been at this parenting thing for over two decades: It’s OK to give ourselves, as parents, the green light to make mistakes in the very same way we should give our kids permission to do the same. Becausethat’s我们所有人都学会坚持的根本途径。
From my vantage point as a parent, a former teacher, a parenting author, a columnist, and a radio show host, I see a world filled with anxious kids, many who are navigating their way through life under the非常虚假假设为了实现这个世界，他们需要完美，为varsity团队发挥，在所有的AP课程中，以及他们的饱满。
并猜猜他们从中挑选了谁？猜猜谁在那个不可成功的酒吧的栏？
It’s us. We’re the ones helping our kids write that story and it’s crippling them because it’s an antiquated and impossible way of thinking that only sets our kids up to shatter when they hit the ground.
Look, we all want the best for our kids. Obviously. We want them to succeed and thrive and excel, but they’re not going to do that according to someone else’s pace — they’re only going to do it when they’re ready. Trying to force it only creates animosity between you and them.
根据其他孩子的发展是不切实际的，设定不公平的期望并制定了一个可怕的先例。这是确切地why we need to embrace our kids exactly where they are. (And do the same for ourselves.)
We need to let our children feel our support and our patience, because when they know they have that, that’s when they start blossoming. And when they think they don’t have our support and acceptance, that’s when they wilt.
It’s when our kids start paying too much attention to what everyone around them is doing that the big-time inferiority complex usually surfaces. And the very same can be said for us as parents.
It’s not just the kids who need reminding
The other thing we need to avoid that’s只是as important as not measuring our kids against other kids, is not measuring ourselves against other parents. Because believe me, you’ll want to. A lot.
Especially once your kids get to school and you’re exposed to all types of parents. Resist that urge, because it will make you second-guess every decision you make. Not to mention that comparing yourself to other parents willnevermake you a better parent.
而且很难，我知道，因为当你开始与其他妈妈和爸爸和孩子们在一天的基础上互动时，诱惑很高，以衡量自己和你所遇到的所有其他父母的自己的育儿风格。
您只读有多少种不同类型的父母和育儿的风格，其中不可避免地导致您质疑您自己的孩子的父母。
You’ll catch yourself trying to adapt all the approaches other parents use, expecting that you’ll have the same results.
And while some will work, others will be epic fails — guaranteed. And that can lead to making bad parenting decisions based only on how something worked for someone else, which is just plain dumb. This is why you need to resist the urge to follow along.
So, remember, as you set out on this long and beautiful and always challenging journey, the learning curve for us as parents is almost as broad as it is for our kids.
因为没有完美的道路，没有完美的孩子，绝对没有完美的父母。
That’s why I stand firmly behind the idea that the greatest thing any of us can do as parents (and humans) is allow ourselves the slack to take risks and to fall down and to fail.
因为那个朋友，正是我们如何学习如何备份，继续前进，并在下次举行它。
Original sourcehttps://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/how-to-stop-comparing-and-always-coming-up-short#Why-do-we-compare-ourselves-to-others?