如果持续比较让你感觉像你来到短暂的话，你并不孤单。但是你可以采取行动。
我希望我能像她一样寒意。我希望我的房子是那么极简主义和完美无暇。她让育儿看起来很容易。我应该能够维持这样的时间表。她的孩子很少使用屏幕，独立玩几个小时。
对于我们众多，这是我们内心的喋喋不休的声音，定期听起来像是那种迅速变成：I’m not enough. What’s wrong with me?
如果您也生活在心理健康状况，这些思想可能会更频繁或更残忍。
作为妈妈anxiety，你可能会认为其他妈妈没有同样的恐惧 - 当然，这会让你觉得自己感到难以置信。
作为妈妈depression，无论何时你看到一个微笑，无忧无虑的妈妈在与她的孩子们的一些阳光领域采摘浆果，你的心脏可能会下沉，你可能想知道：她是怎么回事get out of bed还
Why do we compare ourselves to others?
“Humans are naturally creatures of comparison, but girls and women are especially vulnerable,” says psychotherapistErika Ames.，LCSW。
“妇女经常被暗示地训练，以便向别人寻求许可，并确保他们正在做对。当女性成为母亲的时候，这种冲动只是变得更强壮，“她说。
In our pursuit to get it “right,” we turn to sources like social media to help us determine standards for everything from the cleanliness of our homes to the activities our toddlers should be doing, says伊丽莎白吉列，LCSW，一个集中的治疗师。
我们还进行了比较，因为我们是渴望高质量的关系的社交生物，并担心别人想到的是别人的思考Jill A. Stoddard，博士，一位心理学家和作者的“是强大的：一个女人从焦虑，忧虑和担忧和接受的焦虑，担忧和压力的指导。”
Moms have told Stoddard that “they feel like everyone else has some special key to life — that others know what to say, how to succeed, and how to be confident, stress-free, and happy — but somehow, they were absent on the day those keys were handed out.”
“They report feeling incapable when they struggle with anxiety or productivity while other moms show up to school with Pinterest cupcakes,” she says.
我们也比较自己和别人因为我们广域网t to do what’s best for our kids, so we search for areas we might be “falling short” in order to improve, points out psychotherapistSABA HAROUNI LURIE.，lmft。
我们如何减少比较制作？
比较自己可能觉得自己是反射。但我们不必让它决定我们的生活。这八个提示可以提供帮助。
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Temper your triggers
什么情况或行动通常会引发比较制作？例如，对于大多数妈妈来说，社交媒体是一个巨大的问题。
Intellectually, we know that these images are highly curated and only tiny moments in time. But that doesn’t stop us from feeling awful when we see a mom hiking with her four kids, homemade lunches in tow — while our kids are staring at screens, snacking on leftover frozen pizza.
心理治疗师Sharon Yu那LMFT, suggests limiting how often you scroll social media, uninstalling social media apps from your phone, andunfollowinganyone who makes you feel bad (from celebrity moms to influencers to your neighbor).
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加入支持性社区
“The more honest and open we are [about the realities of parenting], the more honest and open it allows others to be,” Gillette says.
当然，寻找一个真实的社区can be hard.
Gillette建议从一个妈妈开始，你觉得真的很满意，并询问她对他们经历透明的妈妈。
“对于那些与心理健康问题斗争的妈妈，与正在经历类似的心理健康挑战的其他妈妈创造一个支持圈[是]必不可少的，”Richelle Whittaker.，LPC-S，教育心理学家和产妇心理健康治疗师。
产后支持国际为父母提供围产期情绪和焦虑症的父母提供在线支持群体。
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创造思维咒语
当你开始比较自己时，重复一个与你共鸣的口头禅，例如“我足够”或“我的方式尊重”，治疗师说Laura Glenney.，MSC。
You can also list a meaningful mantra or your positive traits on sticky notes and place them around your house, saysAshley Rodrigues，女士，心理健康顾问。这些视觉提醒可以立即转移您的角度。
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利用你的优势
Michelle Pargman，EDS LMHC，暗示定期询问这个问题：“我可以与今天互动的人，以支持和强化我作为母亲和一个人的独特优势？”
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Focus on connection
The next time you’re worried about feeding your kids a gourmet meal or entertaining them with Pinterest crafts, remind yourself that “kids remember how we make them feel and there are lots of ways — our own good enough ways — to make them feel seen, heard, understood, and loved,” says Stoddard.
例如，有些家庭connect over cooking那while others connect over dance parties in the kitchen.
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对自己是额外的
当Lurie在她的焦虑和抑郁症经历了特别糟糕的一天时，她练习了一些self-compassion。
“如果孩子们和我可以坐下来观看另一部电影，而不是一起做一些互动或学术活动，那没关系，”她说。“如果我的目标是在隔离期间每天散步，但......我只能把它放到前廊，没关系。”
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挖掘你的决定
心理治疗师Lauren Hartz.那LPC, encourages moms to explore why you’re making certain choices.
您是签署您的孩子，为篮球营，艺术课和语音教训，因为它们真的感兴趣，或者因为你想要跟上其他父母在做什么？
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Focus on your values
“当妈妈比较其他妈妈的时候，有一个假设其他妈妈正在做的是标准或大多数妈妈应该做，“余说。
“What moms neglect to remember is that before being moms, they were different people, and they still are.” So, focus on engaging in activities and behaviors that are life-giving to you, she says.
同样，Hartz建议澄清您的家庭的价值观 - 也是一个很好的决策工具。例如，当你想知道你是否应该为学校筹款者自愿，你可以提醒自己，周五家庭电影之夜是你的首要任务。她说。
Finally, think about the values you’d like your child to have, Whittaker adds.
“Each mother is innately qualified and in tune with her children,” says Rodrigues. “The two are an irreplaceable match. Comparing one mom to another is like trying to fit together two different puzzle pieces.”