现在是教你的孩子们自己玩的好时机

Independent play is a skill your kids will use for the rest of their lives — and a way to claim some time for yourself during quarantine.

• 从连接开始。

  “In this time of anxiety and uncertainty, it’s really natural for children to regress, which means their dependency needs” — for comfort, physical closeness, affection and communication — “are going to be paramount,” said Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D., author of “顽皮的育儿。““这是一个悖论，但独立和探索并不与依赖，安全和安全相反。他们从他们那里流出。“

  Cohen博士说，如果您希望您的孩子们感到充满信心，请“开始与一些非常高质量的连通游戏开始。设置一个计时器20分钟，放开手机并向您的孩子说，“我有20分钟就适合你。你想做什么？“”然后，把自己“作为一个助手和追随者的服务，”他推荐。“不要告诉他们他们应该做什么。”

  But you can encourage them. “Describe and comment on what they’re doing with no judgment,” recommended Laura Markham, Ph.D., founding editor of the online parenting resource,Aha! Parenting。“It might be a little bit boring for you, but your child’s takeaway will be, ‘Wow, my mom or dad likes to watch me play, I’m good at this.’” When the timer goes off, tell your kids, “I loved watching you play, and I can again later.” Give them a hug and go take care of your stuff. “Usually they will keep playing,” said Dr. Markham.

• 开始小。

  “对于一个没有自己玩的孩子，一个小时是永恒的，”凯瑟琳·珍珠，博士说，“Ignore It!” “Start with five or 10 minutes and grow from there.” She also recommends offering to do something with them that they really enjoy afterward.

• 创建播放邀请。

  在“不加校演”（一种允许儿童兴趣的家庭教育方法）中有一个受欢迎的概念被称为“狂欢”：创造促使孩子们自己发现的时间。“这是贸易的最佳技巧之一，”Avital Schreiber-Levy是一位创建的新泽西州的育儿表演教练玩guidefor parents on lockdown. You put “spotlights” on toys or other objects by setting them up in an unexpected way, and then let your kids stumble upon them.

  例如，在Cookie纸上创建一个小插图 - 例如有几个玩偶，其中有茶党或一群卡车，堆满了一堆干豆。用颜色分类为legos，或者构建半个结构。用翻转并准备去的所有碎片掏出一个拼图。

  SchreiBer-Levy还建议在旋转和失去旋转中移动玩具。“当玩具占据了太久时，他们陈旧，”她说。“这是关于让他们的新颖再次，要么是因为我们把它们带走或者我们以新的方式设置它们。”

• Make room for mess.

  “Messy or tactile play — with paint, sand, clay, beads or water — is something many parents avoid, because it’s inconvenient,” Schreiber-Levy said. But, for kids, it’s “really soothing and will keep them engaged for a long time.” One way to contain the mess is to designate a space for it. The outdoors is the obvious choice, but you can also make a space inside with buckets, large trays and towels. Schreiber-Levy said her 2- and 4-year-old will play in the bathtub with shaving cream for an hour and a half, so she sets up shop with her computer on the toilet while they have at it.

• 建立一个运动区。

  “除非他们已经筋疲力尽了他们的身体，孩子们不会睡觉或表现得很好，”Schreiber-Levy说。外面的活动很棒，但你也可以在里面创造一个安全的空间，让他们翻滚。清除家具，然后在柔软的东西中堆积 - 枕头，靠垫，瑜伽垫，睡袋。如果有幸的是，孩子们最终会制作一个堡垒，让他们保持娱乐时间。

• Build connection into play.

  “Often when parents present independent play, it’s like slamming a door on the child’s face and saying, ‘Go play outside,’” Dr. Cohen said. Instead, challenge your kids to do activities you can participate in later, like creating a piece of art for you, coming up with a surprise for another adult in the home, or building an obstacle course in the living room using cushions and chairs. “Say to them, ‘When you’ve figured it out, come show me and I’ll time you,’” Dr. Cohen recommended. “Then it’s still about connection, even though they are playing independently.”

• 为您的孩子定制您的娱乐。

  虽然独立游戏是一种“可取的技能”，但是，她指出，不同的孩子看起来将看起来与他们的年龄相同，以及他们的发展年龄。

  儿童adhd或执行功能ioning skills that are developing more slowly, Rosenbloom recommended using dry erase boards to help them plan out their time. “One of the greatest strengths of many people with A.D.H.D. is that they can get hyper-focused on things they love and stay engaged for a long period of time,” said Rosenbloom. Choose those things for play time. “They are going to be independent for a longer period of time if we have set them up appropriately,” she said.

  And don’t compare your kids to others. “Don’t look over your fence at what your neighbors are doing,” Leahy said. “Don’t look at Instagram. If you have a neurodiverse family, don’t go to the neurotypical families and compare. Play your own game and reach out to your communities.”

• 耐心点。

  “If your kids are in school all day or on a screen all day, they need to stretch their independent play muscle that may have atrophied,” said Schreiber-Levy. “We want everything to happen instantaneously,” Rosenbloom said. But, if we can understand that this is a transition for all of us and have patience with the process, she added, it will work.

  这不仅会帮助父母完成工作，还可以帮助您在这种可怕的时间安抚您的孩子。“玩是儿童的疗法，”施莱恐怖·勒·勒斯说。“如果孩子们要建立自己的世界并居住，他们就会发挥令人困扰的主题。他们抓住了控制和情绪过程正在发生什么。“这是我们现在都需要的东西。